How to Love Yourself: Tips to Self-Love

For Part 2 of the Self-Love Series I will be sharing some of my favorite ways to work on self-love. I use these tips daily and I find them extremely beneficial in deconstructing those negative thoughts that interrupt our potential. We have the potential to do anything we want, to be anything we want, but we spend so much time in the state of fear, worry, and lack that we fail to see how much we already have and our true potential. I recommend using these techniques to push past the state of fear, and work towards becoming the person you are meant to be, the person you want to be. We are all such unique, amazing, resilient individuals and not being ourselves is such a disservice to the universe and ourselves.

1. Affirmations: Affirmations are a form of positive self-thought that helps to increase self-esteem and self-love. When creating affirmations keep in mind things that you want to see improve in your life. This can be about yourself personally, or about your finances, love life, creativity, employment, etc. Affirmations are something that I absolutely use every single day. I start my day off by saying 10 positive affirmations about myself and my life. I use 5 affirmations that I already feel to be true (I am loved). Then, I use 5 affirmations that I want to be true (I am student loan free). I do a pattern of one affirmation I already feel as true, then an affirmation I want to be true until I am done. I do this after my morning meditation and I repeat these again as I am falling asleep at night. Affirmations can be completely personal and can be done in ways that you feel best fit your lifestyle and beliefs. If I am really working on changing my thoughts about a certain aspect of myself I will repeat affirmations while looking at myself in the mirror (I am enough, I am capable).

  •  Quick Tip: Affirmations should always be worded in a positive way. For example, if you wanted to create an affirmation about money it would be something like “I am aware that money comes very easily to me. Money flows to me” rather than “I am not poor”. Affirmations can be written down (paper or online),said out loud, repeated in the mind, or a combination of whatever you feel works for you.

2. Care LESS: Now, when I say care less, I do not mean careless or reckless. I mean care less about what happens around you and about the things in life that you cannot control, no matter how hard you try. I find myself getting frustrated and upset over things that I really can’t control. It has taken me 23 years to realize that the only thing I can really control is myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my beliefs, my actions. Once you start to care less about what other people are saying, doing, thinking, you have more energy to spend on what you are saying, doing, thinking. We can’t control how others react to who we are, which can be scary. We want people to like us, respect us, and enjoy our company. At some point, we have to realize that this will not always happen. Trust me, I have realized I am not everyone’s ‘cup of tea’, but luckily I have found amazing people who support, love, appreciate, and respect me for who I am, for my true self. I will share reflective exercises I have used to learn to care-less under the journaling section of this.
3. Self-love Meditation: I’ve already talked in detail about meditation in my 10 Tips to Change Your Life post but lately I have discovered self-love meditation. This is a guided style of meditation that I have been using to give myself a little bit of love first thing in the morning. I find self-love meditation helps to set me up for a more positive and productive day. It also gives me the tools I need to begin to intervene when some of those “what if” thoughts sneak in throughout the day. I prefer to use self-love meditations at the beginning of my day because typically, these types of meditations celebrate the self and actually make me feel confident and ready to take on my day ahead. For more self-love meditations click here.
4. Journaling: I know that I have already talked a lot about journaling in the 10 Tips to Change Your Life post BUT.. journaling had just been such a beneficial tool for me that I can’t not talk about it again. When it comes to work on self-love I use a few different journaling techniques. One of my favorites is to ask my self questions, these are from my first ever journal.

“Why do I worry about what they (usually a specific person) think?” “Why do I worry about what might happen”. I just reflect on the questions and write whatever comes to my mind, without thinking I let it all out. If I am feeling particularly insecure about my body or something then I’ll simply write about it. Get everything that is in my mind down on paper, it almost always results in me writing “who cares? Why does it matter?”. This is what I find works best for me, give it a try and see where you end up.

5. Forgiveness: Be gentle on yourself and those around you. I find myself holding onto past mistakes or “what ifs”, but why? Its not helping me grow, its definitely not helping to increase my vibrations. When we focus on those past mistakes we are focusing on the negative, the lack, which means we are vibrating at a lower frequency. Forgiveness allows us to move on, to move forward and focus on the present rather than spending time and energy on things that have already happened, things that cannot be changed. Remember that it is OK to make mistakes, to say and do things that maybe you shouldn’t, but we have to be able to forgive ourselves and free ourselves from the thoughts that chain us to our past.

I am not perfect
with self-love. There are days that I struggle, when I’m upset, discouraged, insecure. You name it–I’ve felt it. I wanted to share these tips because I truly believe making small changes like this in your life creates the biggest impact. Self-love is a way of life for me, once I began to love myself again I was able to make changes in all other areas of my life. Changing the way I think about myself led me to change the ways I think about all other aspects of life. Once I made peace with myself everything else in my life began to align and shift into place. I’m sure it sounds too good to be true, but I promise you loving and respecting yourself is key to happiness, peace, health, and abundance.

Please share this post with friends, family, loved ones you feel would benefit from learning to love themselves again. Thank you so much for reading this, leave me a comment with your favorite ways to work on self-love.


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