We are so willing to give ourselves to someone else before we even know who we are. We focus our precious energy on the idea of someone else loving us, but most of the time we don’t even practice the love of ourselves. How can we be in healthy, happy, genuine relationships?
We use other people to fill the gaps we see in ourselves, we decide our value based on if others love us, not if we love ourselves. We post photos on social media about how happy we are, how amazing our relationships are but then we spend an hour crying in bed because our thighs look huge in those jeans.
But hey, that other person tells me they love me, they tell me I am beautiful, and they buy me things to make me feel valued. But we will never be truly content, beyond happiness, content.
Everything starts with self-love. We are more than just the physical body, we are a soul. We are all that we have. When the partner and you break up, your left with sadness and self-hate.
Women jump so quickly to blame themselves because we have been taught over and over again that we are not good enough. We have been taught to question our value, our worth, our beauty, our intelligence, our ability to lead.
We never felt good enough in the first place, because we never saw our worth, value, beauty. We give the power to our partners and when we look at others for love or approval we instantly give up all of our power. As women we are already disempowered, yet we are often the first to seek approval in our partners.
They get to decide how we feel. We do this unknowingly most of the time. We feel insecure if they don’t text us back, instant panic that they do not love us, that we are not enough, it has to be something that we did.
We begin to obsess over their texts and calls. We over analyze each interaction and question, looking for a clue that points out to what’s wrong with you. Re-reading texts to see if it was something you said. In those moments, you are alone, powerless.
They have that control, you cannot feel whole without their stamp of approval. So, that’s love?
If there is no love for the self, we will put up with an awful lot at the hands of the person who is filling those gaps with perceived love.