Once again, I was listening to Yoga Girl’s podcast on the inner wild woman. Rachel was talking about not shaving anymore and how that really resonates with her at this time. She posed a question that got me thinking. Rachel asked something along the lines of, what is something that society tells you to care about (about your body), or that society tells you defines how you beautiful you are, that you want to stop caring about, or stop giving value to. The very first thing that came to my mind was my body. My weight. My tummy.
I have spent at least 15 years of my life being insecure about my stomach. Sucking my stomach in while looking at myself in different angles of the mirror to see how ‘thin’ I can make myself look.
I can’t believe i just wrote that– there’s more.
This one is sad, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I look at my stomach and I experience this weird feeling. Like, for some reason that day I thought I was going to wake up and be thin, have a smooth, flat stomach. But alas– it’s still the same.
Man, I am just so over it! I just truly think that when I am on my deathbed the last thing I am going to be thinking about is how flat my stomach looked when I was at the beach that time in 2013. Like what the hell?
No. I do not want to live the rest of my life here on earth obsessing over my stomach or my thighs or my arms. Like, I just don’t. That’s just so much negative energy too because I am in that comparison cycle when I’m obessessing over my body. I’m not just unhappy with it, I am then actively comparing it to other bodies that I think are ”better” than mine, because of societal conditioning and multi-million (probably billion) dollar diet industries. Like– a flat stomach doesn’t increase or decrease my value, or my worth as a human.
I mean sure, society wants me to feel that way so then I’ll buy the stupid ‘skinny tea’ that Kylie Jenner is posting photos with on Instagram. Nope. Not going to happen. I am so over it.
It’s time to reclaim my tummy. To let go of the stress of “sucking in” and finding the most flattering angle when I take pictures. To let go of the mindset that ‘thin is beautiful’ and to say fuck you to the little voice inside my head that society has planted that tells me to be ashamed of my body.
Instead, in 2019 I am committing to let this go, to stop caring about my tummy, to stop obsessing over my stomach. Instead, I am going to focus on sending extra loving vibes to my stomach, to my whole body, to embrace myself and my body as it is. To care for myself, to eat lots of veggies, drinks lots of water, and engage in some movement or exercise that feels good for my body & soul because I RESPECT my body and APPRECIATE my body for all it allows me to do. For the hugs I can give, for the adventures it has taken me on, for the dancing I can do (I mean not well but whatever), for each and every opportunity having a healthy body has given me on my 24 years here on earth
- What is something about myself that consumes me with negative self-thought?
- What is no longer serving me?
- Why is this no longer serving me
- How can I let this go?
What are you leaving behind?
There is so much more to life than obsessing over our weight, or our acne, or our hair, or our nose, or our teeth, or about whatever the hell society has told you to feel insecure about. You are so deserving.
Happy New Year.